There comes a point in your life when you label your current state as a quarter life crisis.
And in retrospect, that’s what it is and even though I have read countless hilarious and relatable articles defining just that. It doesn’t really help. I still space out and think about the overwhelming-ness of life and the self-inflicted pressure.
As the title suggests, this is a post essentially about everything and also nothing. I don't expect to accomplish anything except maybe to calm my internal battle that I seem to fight myself everyday and maybe someone out there can relate...actually I’m quite sure a lot of us 20 somethings can.
I think about all the things I hope to accomplish now that I'm not in college anymore. It's been almost a year since I graduated and my mindset then would be blown away by my mindset now. It's a funny thing...graduating. The first misconception you have when you throw your cap, feeling free and liberated, is that you now have SO MUCH time. Those all-nighters, anti social periods where all you did was study are long gone and never to return! A full time job? 40 hours a week? Done by five? no problem.
40 hours a week is really more like 45 and the daily grind has you in bed by 11.
Spring break? Not a thing.
Summer break? Not a thing.
I'm not trying to be a debbie downer and say that everyone should stay in school for as long as possible. Not at all. Making money is nice but I'm not sure how people do it when they have jobs they don't enjoy. I was very fortunate to get a job in my field and actually do what I went to school for and even then the daily grind is a struggle.
Which leads me to my next nothing: All the things I didn't go to school for that I still want to do.
If you've been following me or reading my blog, its pretty clear that I am trying to publish my novel. I am not going into it thinking I will make much money from it or even the connotation that it will be my day job anytime soon but how does one who works full time, successfully publish a novel/maintain an online presence/meet fellow authors and writers/feed the pet/have a social life/maintain a consistent workout schedule/breathe in between and.....WRITE MORE BOOKS?!
I guess that's my biggest thing. I want to write. I have stories trapped in my brain that need to come out and I have no time or energy for it. Then I psych myself out by thinking I need to force myself to write or I'll forget how and then that causes my mind to go into overload mode where I ramble and write meaningless posts like this one.
Look at that. We came full circle.