Almost immediately after finding out I was pregnant, I began researching tips for living with a dog and new baby. It was honestly one of my biggest anxieties about welcoming a child. Of course, I had plenty of other concerns to worry about. But, I knew that I needed to take the time to set up my dog for this massive life change. I wanted to be prepared.
If you’ve been following us for a while, you know that Kirby has developed some less-than-ideal personality traits. He hates other dogs and resource guards his toys and food. And while he is overall a very good boy, we still had concerns.
Even if your dog is the sweetest thing with no behavioral issues, you should still prepare your dog for your baby.
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Living with a new dog and baby starts before the baby arrives
If you love your dog as your first baby, you absolutely need to prepare your dog for the new arrival well in advance of the baby’s due date. You bringing home a baby is a massive life change for a spoiled dog who gets all your attention currently.
I go more in depth on how to prepare your dog in this post. Here are a few tips to get you started.
- Get a doll or wrap something in a swaddle and start carrying it around, pretending to shush it, etc.
- Start desensitizing your dog to baby sounds, crying, fussing, and squealing. Dog Meets Baby has a free library of sounds you can download. I used these throughout my pregnancy while training my dog.
- Get your dog used to all the baby gear in the location where they will be when the baby arrives.
- Make sure your dog is trained with specific commands that you can utilize when the baby is here. Commands such as place, come, follow me, etc. Read my training tips here.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOUR DOG WILL REACT TO YOUR BABY
We had zero expectations for Kirby. What I mean by that is we prepared as if he would hate the baby and never be able to be in the same room as him. Of course, we hoped that wouldn’t be the case, but when you are prepared for the worst case scenario, you are prepared for anything above that.
I’m happy to report that eight months later, Kirby and our son co-exist beautifully. Kirby adjusted better and faster than we expected (again, zero expectations!). We are still diligent in monitoring Kirby’s behavior as our son becomes mobile and continues changing. Even if your dog does well when your baby is a newborn, it does not mean they will adjust the same way in the toddler stage.
The first introduction
Because you don’t know how your dog will react to your baby, it is crucial to have a game plan for the first meeting. We personally took the Dog Meets Baby “First Meeting Course. It helped us visualize how we wanted Kirby to meet our son. After the course, we came up with a game plan for the first introduction. We then followed our dog’s cues to know when he was ready. For us, that meant settling in for a few days first before we allowed him to meet the baby. I go into more detail about how we introduced Kirby to our baby in this post here.
A FEW TIPS FOR THE FIRST MEETING:
- Don’t feel like you need to introduce your dog to the baby right when you get home. It’s actually better to let your dog see you first. Thay way they can get out all their excitement before they see the baby.
- Introduce behind a barrier, such as a gate or with the baby in the crib..
- Keep it short and sweet and reward with lots of treats.
You can get 10% off any of the Dog Meets Baby courses by using the code: ALIA.
the co-existing phase
Once you get through the first introduction, you’ll start to get into a rhythm with your dog and baby. During this coexisting phase, I want to stress that the focus should not be on getting your dog to love your baby. Your dog needs time and space to get used to this new creature that has disrupted their life and taken away all the attention they used to get. It is normal for your dog to act out or misbehave during this phase.
dog vs. baby zones
To create a safe, coexisting phase, utilize gates, a crate, and baby vs. dog zones. For example, Kirby was never allowed in the nursery except for saying “goodnight” to the baby when the baby was in his crib occasionally. If our baby was doing tummy time, Kirby was behind a gate or in his crate. When we would carry the baby around, we would put the baby up to the gate or crate and tell Kirby to “say hi”.
keep them separate
We had the baby and Kirby separated for the first 3 months or so until we could trust that Kirby could lie on the couch without trying to get into the baby’s face. We followed Kirby’s cues. Once our son was about 5 months old, Kirby started to relax.
Dog Meets Baby has a lot of good information regarding dog cues and body language to help you discern whether your dog is truly relaxed around your baby. I want to stress that although Kirby and our baby co-exist fairly well now, they are never alone together. We also have never placed our baby directly next to Kirby on the floor or on a couch. Kirby is allowed to get his sniffs in when our son is in our lap, being held or in his highchair.
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DOG AND BABY GEAR TO CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT
You’ve heard me talk a lot about gates and safe zones already, but it’s worth deep diving into the dog and baby gear we got to make our lives easier during this transition. For one, you are tired new parents. The less you need to think about besides keeping your baby alive, the better.
Baby Gates
Get yourself a few different types of baby gates. This depends on the type of house you have, but here are the 3 we’ve utilized the most.
Bolted Walk-thru Gate: This is great for a high-traffic area that you will be going back and forth through. We have this blocking off our hallway. It keeps Kirby blocked from all our bedrooms and also creates a play area now for our 8-month-old.
Pressure Slide Gate (movable): This gate we actually had way before our baby, because we wanted to block Kirby from certain areas when he was a puppy. Having one of these cheaper gates is nice because it’s easily movable and quick to set up.
Retractable Gate: This is a popular option for staircases. We have this one blocking the stairs to our lower level. It’s nice because it is out of the way when not in use and not an eyesore. It is not the most sturdy, so if you have a dog that will bulldoze through it, this one won’t work for you.
Other baby and dog gear you should have:
A Crate: Crate training your dog before your baby comes is extremely useful. We hadn’t used our dog crate since Kirby was around 2 years old. About 6 months before the baby was born, we pulled it out of storage and began using it again.
We make sure to give Kirby a treat every time he gets the command “go to your cage”. This creates a positive association with it. Bringing the crate out months before the baby is home is important so that your dog establishes his crate as his den and does NOT associate his crate with the baby and being “put away”.
Play pen: Once your baby starts rolling and crawling, it’s time to get a play pen. We have this one, which we love because it’s sturdy plastic instead of mesh. It also doesn’t have large holes that Kirby can stick his muzzle through. He does play peek a boo when the baby is in the play pen and its adorable.
Pack and Play: You probably have one of these on your registry already. I would encourage you to use it as a way to separate your dog and baby safely in a room you spend a lot of time in. We have ours in the corner of our dining room in view of the kitchen. Get the most out of it, not just for when you travel!
you’ve got this: two mantras to keep in mind
I know you are probably overwhelmed with the amount of information I’ve shared with you. Eight months ago, I was you, excited to have my first baby but also anxious about how my fur baby was going to deal with this big life change. I want to leave you with two mantras as you figure out how to do this whole dog and baby thing.
YOUR DOG IS NOT A PROP FOR YOUR BABY
When that cute little baby joins your family, you will be very tempted to take cutesy pictures of the two of them and get that perfect video of your dog loving on your baby. I’d like to give you a different perspective. Your dog has feelings, and odds are, he is going to have a lot of them when you bring home this new human into their house. Respect your dog’s boundaries. Give them space. They deserve that.
A SAFE RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN BEING BEST FRIENDS
Your dog and baby do not need to be best friends. Repeat after me. Your dog and tiny helpless newborn DO NOT need to be best friends. Even your toddler and dog don’t need to be best friends, but they might be.
Your newborn is small, fragile, and needs protection at all times. Dogs doesn’t necessarily understand that, nor should your dog be expected to understand that. So leave them be and let them co-exist. The goal in those first few months, even up to a year, is for your dog and baby to have a safe relationship, not necessarily a loving one.
You’ll find all the posts I’ve written so far about our journey with our dog and baby here and I truly hope it helps you. I’ll be writing more posts as our baby ages and how that changes our dog’s relationship with him.