If you are expecting a baby and you are trying to figure out how your dog and baby are going to get along, I want to change your perspective with this post. There is a reason this post is titled with the keyword “co-exist” instead of “like, love, or befriend”. Your goal in those first few months, even year, is not to make your dog like your baby. The goal is to figure out how to have your dog co-exist with a baby.
Initially, it’s much easier to have a dog not interested in your baby. Your dog and baby’s relationship gets more complicated when your baby becomes interested in your dog. We are gearing up for that with our 8-month-old now. However, because we didn’t force our dog Kirby to “like” the baby and instead got him to a point where he is getting “used” to the baby, the transition will hopefully be a little smoother.
So how do you achieve this disinterestedness / co-existence? You respect your dog’s boundaries and give them space. In this post, I am sharing 5 tips on how to have your dog co-exist with your baby.
This page may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Please read our full disclosure for more information.
Related Post:
REWARD YOUR DOG FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR
Your dog is more than likely a bit more sensitive, on guard, and overall feeling somewhat neglected when your baby comes home. It’s not that uncommon for dogs to become more clingy, act out, and revert to bad behaviors they had as puppies as they adjust to this new being in their house.
I would suggest keeping up with training your dog and staying consistent with what you expect from them. You should be extra vigilant in rewarding good behavior. We were honestly not a very “treat-oriented” household before, but now with the baby, Kirby gets treats, not just praise, for good behavior.
We also give him treats when he listens to us instead of focusing on the baby. For example, every time we feel we need to separate him from the baby by putting him in his crate, he gets a treat. Even if we have to guide him into the crate, or he clearly isn’t listening to the command “go to your crate”. When he gets to the crate and we close the door, he gets a treat.
Also, find moments with the baby that can be opportunities for your dog to have a positive association with the baby. For example, when we started to try and have the baby in our lap while Kirby was sitting on the opposite couch, we gave Kirby a dog bone treat (like this one) that he could focus on instead of focusing on the baby. Kirby then started to associate the interaction as “if I stay on the couch while the baby is in the chair with mom, I get this bone to chew on”
ANTICIPATE YOUR DOG’S REACTIONS BEFORE THEY HAPPEN
This is key to avoiding constantly telling your dog to leave and feeling stressed out that something might happen or escalate. Take time to read your dog’s body language. Check out the “Dog Meets Baby” Instagram page for a great compilation of signs your dog is not happy, uncomfortable, or stressed. They also have a new course dedicated to dog body language as well.
Positive reactions can still be dangerous
Our dog is jumpy, fast, and hyperactive. He loves to play and jump around. Once Kirby decided our son was not a threat, but an opportunity for play time (which is cute, but also scary), we had to be on guard for how quickly Kirby jumps around. Even if it is a positive interaction, we want to avoid Kirby getting into trouble for being too quick. So, when we start to notice Kirby getting into his play stance (butt up in the air, paws slamming the carpet), we redirect him, tell him to get a toy, and play some fetch while the baby watches and laughs.
subtle specific reactions
Another sign we watch for with our dog in particular is whining. When Kirby starts to whine while lying on the couch and is fixating on the baby’s movements, we redirect him and tell him to go downstairs and we block him off with the gate or we put him in his crate.
Sometimes, you have to think of it from the dog’s perspective. In this case, Kirby is telling us he is uncomfortable. He is communicating with his “warning” signs, body tense, whining, fixating, to let us know he wants out of the situation. It’s our job as his humans to not dismiss his feelings and go “Kirby, it’s okay, you’re fine,” and continue as normal. That would cause escalation in the worst-case scenario. The best thing you can do is just remove your dog from the situation or take the baby to a different room.
Related Post:
MAKE SURE YOUR DOG HAS SAFE SPACES FREE FROM BABY
This brings us to designated baby vs. dog spaces. This is key for having your dog co-exist with your baby successfully. As mentioned above and in other posts, bring the crate back out. I’m telling you, the crate will be your best friend in those early days and months. Make the crate a positive “den” for your dog well before the baby is in the picture, so there is no association with the crate and baby.
Make the nursery a dog-free zone, make sure your dog’s food and water bowl is in a baby-free zone, and give your dog places to have safe “baby tv” where your dog is allowed to watch your baby from a safe distance behind a gate.
KEEP YOUR DOG AND BABY SEPARATE UNTIL YOUR DOG BECOMES USED TO THE BABY
The best tip I can give for how to have your dog coexist with a baby, is to actually keep them separate for most of the time. For about the first four months, Kirby was never in the same room as our baby unless he was in his crate or behind a gate. We would show him the baby by bringing our son to the gate bars or crate bars and allow Kirby to sniff him, but that was about it.
You might think this is overkill and “cruel,” but hear me out for a second. Keeping them separate for an extended amount of time actually created a routine and trained our dog that he was supposed to be “away from the baby”. As time went on, if I was carrying the baby down the stairs to the room Kirby was in, Kirby would start to get up and leave the room unprompted.
two examples:
If I brought the baby into the room that his crate is in, he would go into his crate, get his treat and praise, without being prompted. This worked great for both parties. For Kirby, he got his treat and praise, and space. For us, we didn’t worry that Kirby would come out of nowhere to be in the baby’s face, and we rarely had to discipline him to stay away from him. After about four months, when Kirby began being disinterested in our son, we relaxed the separation.
It amazed me how Kirby had adapted. For example, when our son was around 5 months old, we got one of these seats to help him sit up safely. I would place the seat on the kitchen floor, and our son would watch me cook dinner and play with his rattle. Kirby was usually downstairs in our den, but sometimes he would come up if I didn’t have the gate closed. Kirby would see that the baby was in his seat on the floor and instead of coming up to him, he would walk the other direction and go around the hallway to get to me, bypassing the baby completely. We did not specifically ever tell Kirby to do that. I truly believe he just adapted to understanding that he was supposed to give the baby space.
Obviously, this is our dog and this intuition is dependent on your dog’s breed, upbringing, etc. So while I’m sharing this awesome scenario, I can’t guarantee you will receive the same outcome. However, I mention it, because it does show that our dogs are capable of adapting.
BE VIGILANT AS BABY BECOMES MOBILE
A dog with a static baby vs a mobile baby will need time to re-adjust. As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, the trouble is that babies change. They start to move and grow. Dogs do not understand this transition, and a lot of dogs that were once okay with the baby, become not okay with the moving, larger toddler that is now in THEIR face.
When our son was about 5 months old, he started noticing Kirby. He would laugh and smile when Kirby moved. At 8 months old, our son is enamored with Kirby. All cute and good things showing our dog co-exist with our baby. But I know from my research and from taking the “Mobile Baby Course” that the trouble now is not going to be keeping my dog away from my baby, it’s going to be keeping my baby away from my dog.
We are in the beginning stages of this next phase, so stay tuned on when I figure all that out.
Don’t forget! Save 10% on all Dog Meets Baby courses using code ALIA
I hope this post shed some light on how to have your dog co-exist with your baby is actually better for your dog and for you and gives you the tools you need to make this co-existence happen successfully. Read more about our dog and baby journey here.